ON BEING READY FOR LOVE

And I wanted to think I was ready for love because for once I wasn’t scared

But the absence of one does not equate to the presence of another

And I couldn’t understand how he could love me but not feel ready

But the presence of one does not equate to the absence of the other

So here I am, less ready than I thought and more scared than I knew

And there he is holding my heart in unprepared hands

-the complexities of our contradictions

.

I used to wonder how we could be meant for each other

If the timing was wrong

If I was ready while you were not

If you were able to let me go while I could not

If I loved but you did not

But now I see that maybe we’re more right than I thought

Because while I let myself ignore my needs,

You did not

And now both of us are not ready

And maybe there are things we need to find before we find each other

And maybe it’s true

Maybe it was never about how much you cared

Or if you loved

Or whether or not I was enough

Maybe it was always just as simple as

Not being ready to give up the life you love

For a life you could be more in love with

But if there’s one thing I know,

It’s that at the end of the day

People who love you will show it

And those who care will come through

And if someone tells you they can’t give you what you need,

Believe them.

.

And we talked about the things we knew, and the things uncertain

And tried to find some peace within it all

But I don’t think you are certain of anything

And I don’t know if you ever will be

And maybe,

We should not be looking for peace from those who take it away from us in the first place

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